I feel bad for my friend Jim. (I know it should be “badly”, but I don’t think that sounds right.)
For as long as I can remember, Jim’s had 2 beautiful weimaraners named Bob and Jerry (Jim’s a gigantic Grateful Dead fan. He thinks tie dyed shirts are business casual.)
Well, over the weekend, Jerry passed away, leaving Bob alone and Jimmy sad as can be. I’ve never had 2 dogs at the same time, so I don’t know what that’s like to lose one of them, but I imagine it must be really sad for the other dog.
It’s unbelievable how attached we get to our dogs. I think it’s even harder to lose a pet for someone who doesn’t have any children, which is the case for my friend Jim. You think of them like your kids!
Anyway, I’m sorry to be such a downer.
The following is a poem that was given to Jim to help him through his time of loss. I think it’s very sweet (being as I am a mushy dog owner), and maybe sometime in the future you can send it someone who has lost a beloved pet…
If It Should Be …
If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep
Then you must do, what must be done
For this last battle to be won
You will be sad I understand
Don’t let your grief then stay your hand
For this day more than all the rest
Your love for me must stand the test
We’ve had so many happy years
What is to come can hold no fears
You’d not want me to suffer so
The time has come, please let me go
Take me to where my needs they’ll tend
And please stay with me till the end
Hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see
I know in time that you will see
The kindest thing you did for me
Although my tail its last has waved
From pain and suffering I’ve been saved
Please do not grieve it must be you
Who has this painful thing to do
We’ve been so close through these years
Don’t let your heart hold back the tears.
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Missing you is a rough thumb pressing
across an onion’s outer dressing;
each missing moment cracks appear
and fresh skin breaks to cold, raw air.
Each layer bears a new surprise
I never knew I memorized.
OK, I’m crying….damnit all Matt!
Oh, that poem strikes it hard with me. It’s beautiful, true and if they could only talk!
Thank you Matt, I will miss Jimmy and Bob but as my name sake would sing; they will survive, because after all its just a touch of grey!
RIP Jerry.. May you meet your namesake and introduce your owner to him when the time is right..
So, thanks for making me cry at work first thing in the morning! We put down one of our two dogs two years ago. About a 6 year age difference between them. And yes, the younger one took it very hard – just as we did. Gave her so much extra attention, would still say other dogs name so she’d have that familiarity. And then about 2 months later, I picked up Blackie’s collar from where I’d tossed it after putting him down and the noise brought Lefty running!! She was so happy to hear the sound of her friend’s collar – we let her sniff it and everything. It was kind of a closure. She “knew” he wasn’t with the collar.
Actually… Matt…..it’s “feel bad”. Your first instinct was correct.
From Grammargirl.com:
The quick and dirty tip is that it is correct to say you feel bad when you are expressing an emotion. To say, “I feel badly,” implies that there’s something wrong with your sense of touch. Every time I hear people say, “I feel badly,” I imagine them in a dark room having trouble feeling their way around with numb fingers.
pretty sure that is the saddest thing I have ever read and now i am crying like a fool at work!
Yea, nice going Matt, I just hope I can get it together before I need to meet with people here at work, God I am such a pile of emotions ! !
What a beautiful poem. It really hits home for me, I had to put down my dog, Garcia, just a couple of years ago and it was very, very difficult. This makes me think of her and all of the wonderful times we had together and reminds me again that I did the right thing. Suffering should never be an option.
That’s so sad….I know my puppy Tucker would be so sad if his sister Sadie died before him….Tucker is like the annoying little brother and Sadie the big sister. They are adorable.
I have 2 dogs- a long haired mini dachshund & a ‘sato’ from rescued from Puerto Rico..They are both 9 now..I can’t believe how quickly time has passed! They’ve been through a great deal with me! I love them soo much!! They are my first dogs (not being allowed as a child) I have always loved dogs & hope I have many more years to come with them..I can’t even think about when that day will come..=( My condolences to Jim..
I think this is fitting, as well:
Grateful Dead, Brokedown Palace
Fare you well, my honey, fare you well my only true one.
All the birds that were singing are flown, except you alone.
Im Going to leave this brokedown palace,
On my hands and my knees, I will roll, roll, roll.
Make myself a bed by the waterside,
In my time,in my time, I will roll, roll, roll.
In a bed, in a bed, by the waterside I will lay my head.
Listen to the river sing sweet songs, to rock my soul.
River going to take me, sing sweet and sleepy,
sing me sweet and sleepy all the way back home.
It’s a far gone lullaby, sung many years ago.
Mama, mama many worlds I’ve come since I first left home.
Goin’ home, goin’ home, by the waterside I will rest my bones,
Listen to the river sing sweet songs, to rock my soul.
Going to plant a weeping willow,
By the bank’s green edge it will grow, grow, grow.
Sing a lullaby beside the water,
Lovers come and go, the river roll, roll, roll.
Fare you well, fare you well, I love you more than words can tell,
Listen to the river sing sweet songs, to rock my soul.
Thats such a beautiful poem Matt. Have you ever heard of the Rainbow Bridge poem? I suggest you send it to your friend, as I recieved it after the loss of my dog and its an amazing poem. I now give it to anyone I know who loses an animal they love.
Thanks for posting that poem Matt. My beautiful greyhound has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and I will keep it for the time I have to make the inevitable decision.
I am so sorry for your friend’s loss. It takes a while but you’ll be okay — and so will your dog. Hang in there.
Jerry was a great dog..and lived a better life than most humans…Rest in Peace,
big boy…Sadie’s first boyfriend!!! xo
browns
I’m so sorry to hear of Jerry’s passing. I know what a great source of joy he was for you, Jimmy, and for so many others I’m sure. He was really a wonderful dog. I’m sure I speak for more than just myself when I say I believe that dogs have souls, and that we’ll all meet up again in some way someday.
What a beautiful poem. So sorry for your friends loss.
I wanted to post last nite but my eyes got too blurry (not vodka goggles).That poem even made me miss departed loved ones WITHOUT tails…..Im sorry,Jim,for your loss.
That is beautiful. My heart goes out to your friend. I had 2 hounds since my early 20′s- Patton and Sherman. Sherman was almost 13 when he died of a stroke suddenly (no warning, I came home on my lunch hour to see him, and walked in and found him :(:() – Patton died one week to the day. I lost my 2 best friends in the entire world a week apart, I can tell you it is so hard on the other dog, Patton had been with Sherm since he was 1…before he died he stayed up looking around looking for his friend. :( My heart breaks for Jim.
Another good one for Jerry as he contemplates The Attics of My Life:
His Just Begun
By Ellen Brenneman
Don’t think of him as gone away–
his journey’s just begun
life holds so many facets
this earth is only one.
Just think of him as resting
from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days and years.
Think how he must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.
And think of him as living
in the hearts of those he touched…
for nothing loved is ever lost–
and he was loved so much.
We’re going through a tough time right now with our Kiko (half german shephard/half Akita). She’s 14 now and for the past 2 yrs we’ve spent thousands keeping her well. Until recently, about the last 6 months, she continued to act like a puppy.. seriously like a puppy…. Now she’s at the point where it is terribly hard for her to walk and she has little to no control over her bowel movements. However, before you think us selfish for not letting her go yet.. my husband & I both truly believe she isn’t ready. Everything in her behavior and eyes says she is not ready.. I keep waiting for her eyes to tell us that she just cannot do it anymore. What do y’all think? Are we nuts to wait for a signal?
Cynthia-
My Patton was almost 14 years old. I don’t think you are nuts at all because you and only you know Kiko…..One year before Patton’s “brother” Sherman died Patton was having a terrible time walking. He had a cervical disc problem that could not be operated on at his age (We actually decided not to put him through that at his age)…He had periods where his legs would completely give out and then he would be ok for a while…..We had him on medication and I truly believe he was comfortable and happy. He was still eating, etc. He still had that puppy way about him as you mentioned. One week after Sherm died I went to let Patton in our house, he climbed up the one little step into the house and collapsed – his back legs gave out, he couldn’t walk at all. I contemplated on the way to the vet so many things. I called My Aunt and she did tell me at that very point it would be selfish for us to put Patton through any more of this…..and I listened and I knew in my heart we had to give him peace and let him go with some dignity. At the vet he told me eventually he would become paralyzed, etc. I just couldn’t fathom putting him through more- he had just lost his best friend of over 12+ years. When his legs gave out and he could no longer walk, we knew…It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I think he’s chasing rabbits again…..Long may he run and Kiko too.
Thank you Jackie. It broke my heart to even put this into words.. so thank you for responding. I know it must have hurt to remember your pain as well. That day must have been one of your absolute worst. Even though we know it is coming.. it’s oddly hard to believe. It’s hard to imagine life without her.
Kiko has been a lesson in strength to us.. sounds as though Patton was as well.
Update on Kiko.
Now I know my doubts about knowing when it was time for Kiko to say goodbye were kind of silly.
I thought it reasonable to question if she would or could convey to me her feelings on the subject of her death in a way I would understand.. just like all the times she conveyed to me so many of her other thoughts.
The moment was just that.. a moment. One to two seconds of looking into her eyes when she realized she couldn’t get up anymore.
Her soul was tired and her eyes in that moment transferred the feeling of how enormously tired she was.
That night was the first time she showed her pain by letting out small barks until we gave her something to ease it.
Before we took her to the vet, we fed her favorites of french fries and ham. That made her briefly puppy-like again.
I did my best not to cry while she was still here. She had shown so much courage throughout these past few months, it was the least I could do.. and I didn’t want her to be scared.
Our hearts are broken and we feel pretty empty today, but we wouldn’t have done any of it any differently.
Cynthia- My heart goes out to you- I wish there was something I could say to make that empty feeling go away. I had such an ache in the pit of my stomach when we lost our boys. :(. What a beautiful goodbye to Kiko as painful as I’m sure it was. I’ll give you an update as well – we lost our boys in August and I will say I never imagined getting another dog, etc. I realized that no matter how long I waited (1 yr, 5 months, etc) I would still miss Patton and Sherm just the same. We had so much love to give a pet so we did end up getting another dog- a completely different dog, and I will say Charlie has brought so much sunshine to our lives. I never thought I could love a dog the same but he proved us wrong. I planted a tree in our yard to remember our boys and they are always with us. I do hope someday you share that amazing love (as hard as it might seem right now) with another pooch. Take care and I’m so sorry to hear about Kiko.